I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
