I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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