So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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