does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
