Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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