Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
