So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
