i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
