it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
