The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
