i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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