Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
