Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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