i think i have herpe
just one?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
