Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
