I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Still dying that you shit outside
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
