Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
