i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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