OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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