There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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