So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
