I'm sorry my penis didn't work
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
