she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think my vagina is haunted
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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