I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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