oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
