Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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