The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
