You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize