saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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