Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
