I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
