People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
