So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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