look no pants
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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