honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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