doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
