i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
