I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
