maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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