I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
