so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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