she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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