a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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