I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
