I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
