u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
