If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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