Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
