I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
