She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
