i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
