oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Never underestimate the power of titties
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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