Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize