I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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