Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
