seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Boobs are out for the taking
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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