Can Purell be used as lube?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh god it's open bar.
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