I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
