My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
