i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
