And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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