your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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