we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
