i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
